Don't shout

[Jezza]

Man walks into a library and says "Can I have some Fish and Chips please?"
Librarian says "Uummm this is a library sir"
Man says "Sorry, can I have some Fish and Chips please?"

[steveh]

The annual bad joke weekend must have rolled into town again!! So hee goes

2 brothers Stefan and Stein were playing in their garden in Zurich and Stein swallows a coin and starts choking, Stefan rushes indoors and shouts "quick mother, there's a Franc in Stein.

If lawyers are disbarred and priests defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? (Teachers, of course, would be declassified!)

[John Gray]

There was a very amusing, but probably UK-only, joke about the two brothers Miliband, David and Ed, the latter of which was narrowly elected instead of the former as the new leader of the Labour Party.

Apparently there is a third Miliband brother, more musical than the other two, and a very famous leader after the second world war. His name is Glen!

Spoiler

You have to say his full name out loud!

[ABabeNChrist]

A chicken walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says,' What would you want that for?'
The chicken replies,'

Spoiler

To get to the other side.'

[ABabeNChrist]

A man goes into a library and asks, 'Can I have a book on Star Wars?'
The librarian replies,

Spoiler

No, bring it back you won't!'

and last but not least

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on cliff hangers.
The librarian says;

Spoiler