Aggressive spam

[John Gray]

It must be years since we had something like this:

Reply-To: <directorrobertmueller@xxx.com>
From: "FBI OFFICE"<xxxxx@outlook.com>
Subject: WARRANT TO ARREST YOU - GET BACK TO US FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

and a rather more conciliatory body:

Hello,Please kindly read the Attached Notice for more details.Thanks,FBI

The attachment was a TXT file, but I didn't even bother looking.

Has anyone had this sort of spam message recently?

[HansV]

These days it's mostly e-mails claiming that there are some unread messages to me on social media such as Facebook and LinkedIn. And this morning I received an e-mail from "Gmail+team" that I needed to confirm my personal information if I wanted to continue using Gmail; the message came from an @interia.pl address...

[Claude]

Don't worry about it John,

Just means they are really watching you !

Change your choice of toilet paper and you'll be safe

[John Gray]

Another good one in today:

The attachment is your outstanding lottery notification payment.
ACCEPT OUR WORM REGARDS
THE SPANISH MINISTRY OF FINANCE

[HansV]

At least they give you a decent warning!

[StuartR]

And the worms could do wonders in your compost heap

[Claude]

We've just received, in the mail, a letter and an authorization form, posted from The Netherlands (I don't suspect HansV though), informing us that we won € 457'000'000.00 . It even has a prepaid envelop to return the form, presumably because we can't afford the postage charges to Europe.

Once the money arrives, I'll implement a gold skin for the lounge so we can all share this fortune together.

[Rudi]

With that amount of money you can invite the entire lounge to an exclusive ALL PAID round the world cruise on the Allure of the Seas.

[Claude]

Sorry, no; I thought we all agreed that we don't like cruises, well, almost all.

I'm making arrangements to join Richard Branson on his first space flight though. As long as the application form comes with a prepaid envelop of course.

[Rudi]

I guess that could be cool. To take ALL loungers on a space cruise will cost $274,250,000.00, meaning that you have approx. 200,000,000.00 left to jazz up the lounge with a gold skin. I'm game.

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of Eileen's Loungers. Their continuing mission: to explore strange new Excel errors, to seek out new answers and automated solutions, to boldly do what no one has done before in a friendly and family orientated manner!

Anyone afraid of heights!