The Grim Reaper

[Leif]

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

[HansV]

[Roderunner]

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

Could have been a 'sucker' punch.

[Leif]

And then later, my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am. Can you believe that - 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.

[Roderunner]

I was stopped by the Police @ 0200hrs and asked where I was going. I told them I was going to a lecture. WHAT! at 0200hrs. Yes said I, the wife stays up till 0300hrs.

[Leif]

Well my wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

[Roderunner]

My wife ran away with my best friend, whoever he is.

[StuartR]

I think I preferred the bad puns to the misogyny, but it's a close thing!

[Doc Watson]

I see you got the same email I got about Henny Youngman...

[Leif]

I see you got the same email I got about Henny Youngman...

Not that I am aware of!

Never heard of the chap before, either, but a quick Google suggests he stole a few jokes from Tommy Cooper...

[silverback]

. . . . he stole a few jokes from Tommy Cooper...

I was sitting at a red traffic light when a young man tapped on the window. I lowered the window and he said
"Can you give me a lift?"
I said, "You're very good looking and everybody likes you"

[Timelord]

Recent events have convinced me that future events will occur.

I recently started directing Hamlet and Death is playing the lead. I told him to start at the beginning and he said 'no'. Talk about Death defying acts!

[Doc Watson]

I see you got the same email I got about Henny Youngman...

Not that I am aware of!

Never heard of the chap before, either, but a quick Google suggests he stole a few jokes from Tommy Cooper...

After a quick edit ...... If Henny Youngman were alive today......

Man calls 911 and says “I think my wife is dead.” The operator says how
do you know? He says, “The sex is the same but the laundry is piling up!”

MY neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe
that..... 2:30 am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend - yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine
until the digital exam! Do you think I should change dentists?

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to
come back as a cow. I said, “You're obviously not listening.”

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.