You'll never have to watch the TV news again

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ChrisGreaves
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You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by ChrisGreaves »

Charlie Brooker
I knew this some 15 years ago. I was teaching day & night, videotaped the local news(CFTO) and played it back around 10:30pm when I got home.
A pattern was established.
There was always a story on a bad collision, preferably with a death. There was always a burning house, or a kidnap/rape. There was always a breathless cub reporter on the steps of parliament house. There was always an uplifting piece about a new product or service, basically a commercial filling in two minutes of "news" before the commercial break.
Brooker goes further and breaks all news stories down to their component parts.
Brilliant, IMHO.
If it isn't one thing it's another, and very often both. E.F.Benson

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HansV
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by HansV »

That'll save a lot of time, thanks!
Best wishes,
Hans

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ChrisGreaves
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by ChrisGreaves »

HansV wrote:That'll save a lot of time, thanks!
You're welcome, Hans.
Here's another tip for you: Unplug your monitor cable on the weekends ..... :overclocking:
If it isn't one thing it's another, and very often both. E.F.Benson

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Argus
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by Argus »

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Byelingual    When you speak two languages but start losing vocabulary in both of them.

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Hey Jude
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by Hey Jude »

Argus wrote:Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

"...Now, in Paul Harvey's The Rest Of The Story you'll find eighty-two astonishing true stories of the famous and infamous, the outrageous and the unknown. Each unforgettable tale has for its startling punch line the wild and wonderful solution to a real-life mystery. The 1950's presidential candidate who killed a teenage girl. The governor of New York who dressed up like a woman--at taxpayer's expense. The queen whose secret photo collection--if exposed--would shock the world. The American founding father who kept his wife locked in the cellar. The best-selling mystery writer who tried to get away . . . with murder! From present-day shockers to historical puzzlers, Paul Harvey's The Rest Of The Story reveals the untold story behind some of history's strangest little-known facts...."

That is the news I want to hear~!~!~! Provides shock and awe; amazement; conviviality and sometimes just plain good laughs~! Running errands was always more delightful when timed with his broadcast.
♫...Take a sad song and make it better . . .♫ Image

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John Gray
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by John Gray »

Argus wrote:Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
That's rather good (bar the 'is where')! (Did you quote it from somewhere?)
John Gray

A car crashed into a barrier at speed; nobody was injured, but a front wheel became detached, and slowly rolled down the road.
Driver [sings]: "You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Wheel"​​

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Argus
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by Argus »

John Gray wrote:That's rather good (bar the 'is where')! (Did you quote it from somewhere?)
Argus is a relay...

Yes, it is a "quote". But the author is unknown, I think. Also, I copied and pasted it so quickly (this time) that I didn't check it at all; I should have (done that). Yes, I agree, it could have been worded a little bit different.

You can find it all over the net; a quick search resulted in, for example, this page: http://www.truewhisper.com/get/download ... vening.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

There is also this version (a definition):
"Evening news: Where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another." - Ambrose Bierce

"The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were." - David Brinkley, US television newscaster (1920 - 2003)
Byelingual    When you speak two languages but start losing vocabulary in both of them.

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John Gray
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by John Gray »

Thanks - Ambrose Bierce is an excellent source for we cynics!
John Gray

A car crashed into a barrier at speed; nobody was injured, but a front wheel became detached, and slowly rolled down the road.
Driver [sings]: "You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Wheel"​​

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Argus
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Re: You'll never have to watch the TV news again

Post by Argus »

John Gray wrote:Thanks - Ambrose Bierce is an excellent source for we cynics!
Mmm, yes.

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
George Bernard Shaw
Byelingual    When you speak two languages but start losing vocabulary in both of them.