The Saddest News Of My Life

[BobArch2]

Billie Jo Locker Hoffman
1934 - 2010

My beloved Billie, wife, partner, and friend for almost 48 years, and mother of our only son Albert, has passed away early this morning!

Dear Al,

Have been out of town for the past week and am just now trying to catch up on past events. I feel that I knew Billie through your reports of the last several years. As such, it was like a stabbing to my heart when I read the sad news of her passing. I sit here with a tear in my eye knowing how difficult it must be for you. Hang tough and know that your friends are here, feeling your pain and holding you are your's close in our thoughts.

R.I.P. Billie...

[westerneagle]

Hi Al,
I have been 'off line' for a while and when I took a minuet to catch up. . .I came across your post.
I have been with the love of my life for 41 years now and I can hardly even think about losing her!
How your heart must ache!
Take a deep breath and know that you have friends here that you can talk too.
Mike Jones

[Amelia43]

Dear Al
You have a world of faithful friends out here to honour your beautiful wife and your infinite dedication to her. I wish you long life.
Dianne

[Argus]

Dear Al,
My sincere condolences to you and your family. My thoughts are with you.

[Hey Jude]

Dear Al,

As I just read your posting, these were the first thoughts that came into my mind:

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul...."

My heart goes out to you BigAl. This is a huge shock. May it be well with your soul as you shoulder the responsibility of sharing her life with your grandchildren. As you share your memories of your life together, don't forget to breathe. I stand in awe and admiration of your devotion, love, attention-to-detail, and desire to make Billie's life as comfortable and happy as possible. I echo the sentiments already expressed and you have my shoulder should you need it. Would that all husbands were as devoted and committed to the well being of their wives as you have been. You are truly a hero in my eyes, Al.

[GeoffW]

Al

I'm sorry to have come in late.

I can only echo thoughts already expressed. Your love and devotion to her were in inspiration. It was always good to hear of a partnership which has lasted with love, after so many around have faded away.

Will the Akubra be retired? Or will you still continue to be involved with the nursing home?

My own mother has Alzheimer's, and it's dreadful to see somebody whose mind has alway sbeen so active and alert, start to fade away. It must have been hard for you to take that happening over the years- which makes your love and devotion even the more inspirational.

[Bigaldoc]

Thanks a lot Geoff (and everyone else) for the kind words.

No, the Akubra IS me now. It's been a staple of my daily visits to not only the nursing home but the grocery store and elsewhere. When I (seldom) forget to put it on I always get asked where my hat is.

There are somewhere in the range of 100-150 guys in that nursing home who know me pretty well AND it has been my second home for eight years. So, starting today I will return in my volunteer capacity to socialize, take fellas for strolls outside in the fresh air, help with rec activities maybe... Whatever doesn't take a hammer or a screwdriver or heavy lifting.    

In addition, my Billie's "spirit" will always be in those hallways as well as here in the house. I don't think I've told this here (but as usual can't remember). I've had a 5' 2" replica made of Billie ("party standups") and it's here with me at home. It's the full size version of the pix in the first post of this thread. Call me crazy, but it's just a different "kind" of picture to me.

This is without a doubt the toughest period of my life but I'll make it onward. Darkness is the most difficult for some reason.

[steveh]

This is without a doubt the toughest period of my life but I'll make it onward. Darkness is the most difficult for some reason.

Hi Al

Don't be afraid of the dark

[Bigaldoc]

I don't think I've ever mentioned that Billie and I decided a long time ago, when she was in better health and able to participate in the decision, that we will be cremated at our deaths. Those arrangement were made some time ago. Yesterday, Billie was "returned to me" for safekeeping and to remain here in HER home!

Since she was cremated and not interred she didn't have the full "military" funeral to which she's entitled (playing of taps and rifle salute with honor guard) but I was presented with her USA folded flag for which I have ordered a display case to hang it here at home. Posting a picture of her oak urn that I selected is a little morbid, so I will only show you the inscription that I ordered be placed thereon.

Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the kindness and tender wishes fellow Loungers!

[rettingr]

Then here's to her...

[carolynkerr]

So sorry to hear your news. Hope you and your family are coping as well as can be expected.

Sorry for the delay in replying but in fact my Dad passed away suddenly on 29 July so I havent been around for a few weeks.

Take care
xx

[Reimer]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss.
It is very hard to lose a parent (they have been a part of your life forever).

[carolynkerr]

Thanks - it was so sudden too. My dad was on a train going on his holidays when it happened. He had been in good health and there was no warning whatsoever. He did however die of natural causes and everyone assures us that he would not have suffered - it would have just been like falling asleep.
xx

[Bigaldoc]

... my Dad passed away suddenly on 29 July ...

Oh my, my condolences Carolyn! The loss of a loved one "quickly" is no easier to deal with than one stretched out over a long time! Pray for strength!

[HansV]

Hello Carolyn,

Welcome to Eileen's Lounge. Please accept my condolences. If someone dies so suddenly, it is very hard on those who remain behind, though it might be the best way to go for the one who dies - no prolonged suffering. I wish you strength.

[Hey Jude]

Carolyn, no loss, whether expected or unexpected is ever "easy" and I wish you peace in the midst of the storm. My prayer for you is that you remain strong and allow yourself the luxury of grieving. The more you share your dad with family, loved ones, and friends, your heart will find solace in the camaraderie of those memories. I too pray for strength for you.

[carolynkerr]

Thank you all for your kind words. You have no idea how much it helps.
x

[Jezza]

Al, I am so saddened by this news and am sorry it has taken me so long to read it. As always, my thoughts are with you during this very difficult time

[ABabeNChrist]

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, May the peace which comes from the memories of love shared, comfort you now and in the days ahead.

[DenGar]

Al,

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I know the heartache you're going through is a deep one, for I have experienced the deaths of two spouses. It's trite, but time will heal. Always keep in you the many wonderful memories you've have of your time with Billie. Those tears will turn to smiles even though they'll be sad ones to begin with. Be sure to take care of yourself. Peace.

Dennis