God's pliers...

User avatar
jonwallace
5StarLounger
Posts: 1120
Joined: 26 Jan 2010, 11:32
Location: "What a mighty long bridge to such a mighty little old town"

God's pliers...

Post by jonwallace »

I take everyone has seen these...
John

“Always trust a microbiologist because they have the best chance of predicting when the world will end”
― Teddie O. Rahube

User avatar
HansV
Administrator
Posts: 78626
Joined: 16 Jan 2010, 00:14
Status: Microsoft MVP
Location: Wageningen, The Netherlands

Re: God's pliers...

Post by HansV »

They seem to have snipped part of the roof already... :flee:
Best wishes,
Hans

User avatar
John Gray
PlatinumLounger
Posts: 5420
Joined: 24 Jan 2010, 08:33
Location: A cathedral city in England

Re: Ghod's pliers...

Post by John Gray »

Nobody seems to have given a credible explanation of why the cutters are in the shot, and in focus!
John Gray

"(or one of the team)" - how your hospital appointment letter indicates that you won't be seeing the Consultant...

User avatar
Samantha
3StarLounger
Posts: 363
Joined: 24 Jan 2010, 07:19
Location: Spokane, WA

Re: Ghod's pliers...

Post by Samantha »

John Gray wrote:Nobody seems to have given a credible explanation of why the cutters are in the shot, and in focus!
My theory is some practical joker attached the pliers to the camera. I know very little about cameras, but I'm assuming there's some sort of autofocus feature in use to account for different street widths and setbacks of buildings from the street.
Samantha

User avatar
Goshute
3StarLounger
Posts: 397
Joined: 24 Jan 2010, 19:43
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah, USA

Re: God's pliers...

Post by Goshute »

Speaking of Tools:

DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, ****!"

SKILL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race...

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name
implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

Son of a ***** TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "Son of a *****" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
Goshute
I float in liquid gardens

User avatar
Bowlie
5StarLounger
Posts: 1051
Joined: 26 Jan 2010, 17:08
Location: Confoederatio Helvetica

Re: God's pliers...

Post by Bowlie »

:laugh: :rofl: Ah, you've seen my work-shop ! Here, have a :chocciebar: OR a :cheers: . You could have both, but that apparently upsets Chris!