For Skitterbug

[Bigaldoc]

The Laws of Golf

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up" or else invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?

[jonwallace]

The Laws of Golf
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up" or else invoke the wrath of the universe.

The club pro at St Andrews Old Course played the worst game ever encountered in that venerable course's long history. Deciding on "death before dishonour", he flung himself of the Swilcan Bridge into the Swilcan Burn. An hour later, he finds himself still alive, so he clambers out of the burn only to see his caddy standing there shaking his head sadly. "I telt ye, man," said the caddy "Ye are nae keeping yer heid doon!"

[Skitterbug]

The Laws of Golf
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up" or else invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

I've encountered both of these laws being invoked by others.....at the most maddening times!

Thanks for the chuckles.