Product usage descriptions

[GeoffW]

I've just bought a product which says "Do not use if seal is broken". Then how can I ever use it?

And my shaving cream says "Shake well before use". So I have to get up at 6AM, shake it, and go back to bed. At 7AM I can get up and shave.

My butter syas "Made from pasteurised cows' milk". How do they pasteurise the cows?

[HansV]

How old do goats have to be before their milk can be used for aged goat cheese?

[John Gray]

I've just bought a product which says "Do not use if seal is broken".

Does it come with a free seal? ("Arf-arf!")

And don't even think about mentioning the tins of peaches, which have a picture of some peaches on the label,
and the tins of baby food, which have a picture of a baby on the label...

[Bigaldoc]

I've just bought a product which says "Do not use if seal is broken".

Does it come with a free seal? ("Arf-arf!")

And don't even think about mentioning the tins of peaches, which have a picture of some peaches on the label,
and the tins of baby food, which have a picture of a baby on the label...

Does BABY food come in tins over there? We haven't had a baby for a long, long time but the last time I looked (over here) the food was all in glass containers.

[HansV]

How do they pasteurise the cows?

They put them out to pasture.

[NYIntensity]

I like looking at things like "baby water"... How old do they have to be before they can be squeezed?

[ChrisGreaves]

I've just bought a product which says ...

My apartment building, in the interest of preventing unauthorised people from sneaking in, has a typed sign at eye-level on the (locking) front door:
"DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES"
I kid you not!

[jonwallace]

I like looking at things like "baby water"... How old do they have to be before they can be squeezed?

Babies don't need to be squeezed to produce water or at least fluid

[Catz]

I like looking at things like "baby water"... How old do they have to be before they can be squeezed?

Babies don't need to be squeezed to produce water or at least fluid

Yeah....all ya gotta do is park one on yer lap!!

[Goshute]

In the pitifully ungrammatical US, I frequently see this sign:

"Customers will be served in the order in which they arrived."

They can't possibly mean that bits of me arrived at different times, so they can only mean that they'll serve me even if I arrive disorderly.

[ChrisGreaves]

In the pitifully ungrammatical US, ...

What I don't like is when I use my debit card at Boston Pizza and they display on the little push-button machine "Please Wait".
Me, I'd rather wash dishes .....

[GeoffW]

I have seen a sign in the US- a great big sign over a St Vincent de Paul shop:

"Wednesdays- clothes half off".

The sad thing is that half the people in the town that I mentioned this too didn't see anything funny.

[Hey Jude]

I have seen a sign in the US- a great big sign over a St Vincent de Paul shop:

"Wednesdays- clothes half off".

The sad thing is that half the people in the town that I mentioned this too didn't see anything funny.

I find it comically amusing myself. So you line up to see who is wearing the other half?

[Hey Jude]

How old do goats have to be before their milk can be used for aged goat cheese?

before spilt milk is udder waste?

[Claude]

What really annoys me is when daylight saving starts / ends. We are told to put the clocks back / forward an hour before going to bed. Why can't I do it the next day, why would I have to adjust the clocks and then wait an hour before going to bed

[GeoffW]

What really annoys me is when daylight saving starts / ends. We are told to put the clocks back / forward an hour before going to bed. Why can't I do it the next day, why would I have to adjust the clocks and then wait an hour before going to bed

Technically, for Autumn, we are supposed to turn the clocks back one hour at 3AM. So I get up at 3AM turn the clock back to 2AM. One hour later, get up at 3AM, turn the clock back to 2AM ...