Greaves’s Dictionary of Contemporary Terminology

[ChrisGreaves]

When the only reading material is a store flyer, you have time to think while you eat your fish and chips ..

Intuitive	The designer understands it.
Extended Warranty	You are willing to bet that the product will break down
Free	You pay for it in another way
Low-fat	Less fat than a similar item with more fat
Lo-Cal	See “Low-fat”
Local	Less fat, less calories, arrives in an inefficient old utility truck spewing unburnt diesel fumes.
Three day sale	Then we are going back to over-charging you
Save up to ten dollars	Give us money you weren’t planning to give us
Save fifty cents	Give us seventy-nine cents
Get Air Miles when you spend $50 or more	Give us the fifty dollars now instead of saving it to give to the airlines later.
Wow!	You are either stupid enough, or bored enough, to read our flyer
Complete our web-based survey and you’ll receive ...	... our thanks for letting us sell your personal data.
Available only at select locations	We are trying to get this unsalable item off our shelves.
Price $2.99 (3.99, 4.99 etc)	You probably buy lottery tickets, right?
Get rewards faster	Give us your money sooner

[John Gray]

Do I detect the slightest whiff of cynicism?
Or is it the unburnt diesel fumes?!

[HansV]

And don't forget:

Artisanal	Mass-produced
Authentic	Pretentious
Unique	Available in all our outlets
For you personally...	... and for all others reading this
New improved recipe	We changed 0.01% of the ingredients at random

[BobH]

Is "Organic" the third rail?

I think it means about the same only much more expensive.

[ChrisGreaves]

Do I detect the slightest whiff of cynicism?

[indignant] I'm slighted [/indignant]

Cheers
Chris