Looks like I'm fat :(

[Claude]

Got this disturbing email which really made me think. I could meet this nameless person, who has always loved me, if I wasn't so fat

This is important, I really need you to reply – your not-so-secret admirer

Honestly, I only saw your resume photo, and read some of your social media comments.

Now I finally have your email address!

Don't ask how.

You know how I am, and I need to get something off my chest: I've always loved you – but there's this small problem: honestly, you're overweight and I need you to get fit.

I know a product that has helped my colleague to get in shape fast.

Dug up the URL for you -- clicky-clicky. (<--- originally a clickable link)

Stop being fat, start being mine – and please respond today.

After having closely inspected my body, and, after checking my social media history, only to find that I never post anything in any of them, I've decided it must be a mistake, innocent mistake no doubt, by nameless and decided it must be for someone else, so, I publish this here in case the intended recipient reads this.

[Rudi]

Every time I visit the lounge I exercise my right to be bias or accepting, so I believe I'm fit to give my opinions in any thread. If anyone thinks I'm not, then I feel squats for them. So, with all this activity I'm certainly not the fat one here. Phew!

[AlanMiller]

in case the intended recipient reads this.

Ah, thanks! I wondered why I hadn't received that. I thought, at first, that it was because I too had never posted on social media.
I'll explain to my conquest-to-be, nameless, what the mix up was.


Alan